Day 5: Journal #CaptureYourGrief January 5, 2016

BlackSon.jpg

I almost skipped today’s assignment because I truly didn’t know what to write about. I have avoided dealing with my sadness and stress and anything negative for so long that being forced to face it all over the last five days has physically and emotionally crippled me…I have been extra mean and super petty…I have been taking EVERYTHING personally and lashing out…Like a little kid having a tantrum when their parents tell them “No”…

I have been watching a lot of news and political news…Especially Fox News and the world sucks…America sucks…the level of suck in this nation makes me glad that my problems could be looked at as minute…How scary it is to raise a black boy in this country. Had my son lived he would be almost 5…and fatherless…and I don’t know how I would manage to teach him how to be a black man in America…how to grin and bear it…how to stay alive…

As sad as I am to have lost my son I can’t help but to feel relieved that he doesn’t have to navigate a life through a world that will never see him as a “Real man” who deserves to be treated with decency and respect…

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