Day 20: The day I lost you #CaptureYourGrief

image

Today marks 2 years to the day that I watched you leave this world…and the saddness I feel inside is no better now than it was that day.
I held you in my arms while you left this world and took a large part of me with you. I still haven’t learned to live without you…but I have learned to exist. I push forward day by day hoping that with each day that passes I will be able to find myself again. Figure out who I am without you by my side…sleeping through the night without reaching for you…dealing with the slap in the face when I come home with exciting news and you’re not there for me to talk your ear off…learning how to hug myself…learning how to cook for two instead of three…learning how to be on my own without having my balancing partner.
You were the best I ever had and I have very little doubt that there will be anyone else to come close…
Best friend, father, brother, soldier, problem solver, hugger, lover, partner, LOVE. Kyle

Because I’m on the go I posted from WordPress for Android

Advertisements

Day 17: Anniversary #CaptureYourGrief

image

April 8th was Kyle and my anniversary…
It was actually the anniversary of our first date. A very unplanned for date that turned out to be one of the best nights of my life…
Kyle and I talked over the phone for about three weeks and one night he said lets go to the movies…I asked him when. To which he replied “Right now!”. It was about 9pm on 
Friday night and I had no babysitter…”Bring her we’ll have fun…”
Sooo the three of us had our first date at the Egyptian Movie Co. at the Arundel Mills mall…We saw HOP…we were the only people in the theater and we sat dead center so we could get the full 3D effect…lol it was so awesome…then we went back to his house where my daughter fell asleep on his couch and he and I sat and talked until the suncame up…

Because I’m on the go I posted from WordPress for Android

Day 16: Before your loss #CaptureYourGrief

image

This is a picture of our first Thanksgiving together. I was sooo nervous that day because we decided to have a nice dinner at our apartment and we only invited our rothers and sisters to come eat with us…
Kyle did most if the cooking…lol But helped…… a little. Everytime we needed a wine bottle opened I was right there to lend a hand…lol

image

Because I’m on the go I posted from WordPress for Android

Day 14: Express Your Heart #CaptureYourGrief

image

This post is a day late…I wrote it but forgot to post…

As the days go by I have had to cone face to face with the feelings…happy memories, sadness of loss, and more…trying to find my way to a comfortable space where I will find peace, in my head and in my heart.

When I first started this project I didn’t think it would have such a great effect on me. I haven’t  to admit there were many times where I wanted to theow my hands up and say forget it…I don’t need this aggrivation on top of the aggravation in my daily life. But over the last 14 days I have come to realize how much weight is being lifted off of my heart. Its almost as if I have been making space in my head and heart to deal with the minor issues in my life, without turningrhem into knock out drag down fights…within myself and with the people closest to me.
I almost look forward to writing now…I write and pause to cry then ask myself how do I hold on to the memories without being consumed by the sadness?
I have been learning to hold onto the happy moments and not dwell on the sad ones…

image

image

image

Our 1st Thanksgiving together

image

Because I’m on the go I posted from WordPress for Android