Being a parent is not an easy job…being a single parent…well, being a single parent fcuking sucks donkey ba11s! Especially, when you make the attempt to start dating.
But why does the world seem to make single parents feel as if they are not worthy of dating with standards, just because they have children. It’s as if there has been some unwritten rule that just because an individual has a child(ren) that somehow their self-worth is decidedly lower than that of an individual of the same age, social, and economic standing, but has no children. The single parent is supposed to not have high expectation in a potential mate because, well because you have already established a family circle without them being involved…
If anything a single parent should have even higher standards, as far as a potential mate is concerned. You have to be really careful who you decide to bring around your children because not everyone has your (or their) best interest at heart. To be honest with you people now days don’t give a fluff about anyone other than themselves…and we hear so many heart wrenching stories about how boyfriends, girlfriends, and step-parents are harming little children.
Here’s the thing…When it comes to being a single parent the first priority is and will always be what is best for the child…This means that any potential mate(s) will have to find a fit within the circle.
Dating a single parent has its ups and downs just like any other venture one sets forth to pursue…So here are 5 pointers for dating a single parent:
- You have to have patience
I have never known a single parent who wasn’t dealing with dual identities. On one hand they have to be a parent, the example for the kids, chauffer, chef, etc. etc…but on the other hand they have to become a single entity out mixing and mingling in the adult world. Unless he or she is being a controlling butt nugget or purposefully trying you in some way, then you have to be patient while he/she is adjusting from one identity to the other (This is very important for a newly single parent)/
- The Ex (kids’ father/mother) is going to be around
Don’t let the Ex control your relationship. They are going to be around, like it or not…But there is no need for any jealous feelings or worry. Now if your mate and their Ex has just recently broken up, like any other breakup, there are probably going to be some harbored feelings…In this case the thing you really have to watch for is how strongly their feelings are towards the Ex and if they are completely over the relationship. If you have concerns the best thing to do is to address them directly and with tact and not make accusations. Chances are you could be just paranoid…It’s going to be awkward at first because essentially you are going to be “The third wheel” of sorts.
- Dating Single Parents is not a Mattel creation…Don’t play games
A single parent has a lot to deal with and playing games with a romantic relationship is not on the daily ToDo list. Chances are you are going to get yourself dumped for being a source of unwanted/unnecessary drama. Playing hard to get or thinking you are some sort of “Player” in the game of love…basically trying to manipulate time that could be well spent on more important things, is a NoGo.
- Do, don’t just say
To a single parent your words are pretty…but they mean absolutely nothing when your actions don’t match. Don’t just say you’re an honest person, be honest…don’t just talk about goals and dreams, take the steps to accomplishing them…Before I had my daughter, if a guy took me to a fancy dinner I was impressed…But now, the mere sight of a great guy taking my garbage out, or clearing the table after dinner works wonders…It’s the little things that count for a single parent…Bring her a box of her favorite cupcakes, or surprise him at home with dinner for everyone so he doesn’t have to cook after a long day of work…Step up and help out…Major cool points.
- Single Parents aren’t looking for Super Heroes
It is too easy to assume that a single parent is looking for a long term relationship from the moment you exchange contact information…Some people make this assumption and feel that the single parent is going to be clingy and in some sort of rush. In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth of the matter is that a single parent won’t be quick to jump into a relationship or settling down until they are incredibly sure of your potential as a life partner…
Just because a person is a single parent doesn’t mean they are desperate for a mate. Nor are they in a hurry to jump head first into a relationship.
A single parent wants a partner who compliments, the values already established, not completes the family circle…