Because it’s after 2am and I’m tired…I give you “White Girl Wasted”

Some would say that getting trashed requires a bit of carelessness, while others would say it’s downright immature.
Well lets us take a look at, what I would call, the art form of getting…

1. Have no clue as to where you left your purse
2. Believe that dancing with your arms over your head and wiggling your butt while yelling “whooo hooo!” is truly the sexiest dance move ever invented.

3. Suddenly decide that you want to kick someone’s ass and honestly believe you could do it. “Fcuk that b!tch…I’m gonna kick her ass”
4. During your last trip to pee you realize that you look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess you were four hours ago.

5. Start crying and telling everyone exactly how much you love them and you would do anything for them.
6. Get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays…why? Because “OMG! I love this song!”
7. Find the deeper spiritual side of the Geeky molester sitting next to you at the bar.
8. Suddenly take up smoking, and realize you’re actually pretty good at it.
9. Yell at the bartender, who you believe cheated you by giving you just lemonade (truth is you’re so wasted you just can’t taste the gin anymore).
10. Fall asleep…thinking you’re in bed when in reality you’re on the kitchen floor nose deep in the mop.
11. Fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when you sit on it (or pray to it, whatever nature calls for).
12. Take your shoes off because it’s their fault you’re having trouble walking.


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