Ladies please don’t get bent out of shape after reading this blog…Better to hear it from one of your own before you do it, then to be made an example out of.
I was watching Oprah (re-run) a couple of nights ago, nothing else was on, and she had five of nine women on. They were telling “us” about how they were all married and/or engaged to the same man. Sometimes the relationships (marriages included) overlapped one another. Dubbed the “Casanova Conman”, Eric Cooper would weasel his way into these women’s lives by telling them things like…He was a Navy Seal or a pilot (and had the uniforms to boot). He would eventually propose and/or marry them only to transform into a completely different creature…To include stealing from the women and their families…sometimes taking them for everything they own and then leaving them high and dry without a trace.
But this is just the back ground story. The motive behind the blog lies with the women on the show.
Then Oprah brought out a “Therapist”, Dr. Robin Smith, that hit the nail on the head…”A piece of it is how needy and how desperate we are, as women, to feel good, to feel worthy, to feel pretty…People can sniff out when we’re weak, and they come in like vultures…” Unfortunately her words seemed to fall on deaf ears.
She explained to these women that there was something in them, like most women, which tells “us” that we are not complete if we don’t have someone to be with. In their situations not one of them was with the man for more than a month before they were married and/or engaged. Nor did any of them stay with him for more than a couple of weeks before he left them for someone else. In one case the guy left one women the night of their wedding. Then there was another woman on the show that was so “needy” that she was willing to marry and commit herself to a man that was not only in jail for murder, but he was in jail for the murder of HER BROTHER!
// // Weather we want to realize it or not, and I include myself, it has been programmed into us as women that we HAVE to find a mate, get married, and live “happily ever after”.
I don’t look at it as a fault I look at it as nature. Why because from the time we were small girls it has been programmed into us to think this way. But the point I’m trying to stress is that it doesn’t have to be that way…
Finding love everlasting is a wonderful thing when it happens, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you live for. You don’t need to be so “desperate” to find that knight in shining armor. If I may quote the Therapist from the show…” There is no such thing as Prince Charming. Because the man that ‘sweeps’ you off your feet, will be the same man that ‘sweeps’ you away from who you really are.”
It’s the times that you are “alone” that you figure out who you are and who it is that you want to be. You don’t need another person to complete you. You need to complete yourself. When you complete yourself you are more aware of yourself, and you are less likely to stay with or get yourself into unhealthy relationships. Now don’t get me wrong that’s not to say that “Sh!t won’t happen”. You have to fall to learn to do better for yourself. You are going to have bad relationships before you find the good one…if not than consider yourself a lucky b!tch and I hate you, you’re not normal.
In conclusion: Don’t let being “alone” make you feel like it’s the end of the world. Use that time to make yourself better. Learn to be comfortable with who you are and what you want to become. And when the time is right you will end up with the right person.