Captivating photos: Before, During, and After War

Measuring the emotional state of a soldier is no easy feat…but with these photos it is so easy to see the hardship that they went through…They say a picture says a thousand words and the words that come to mind from viewing these photos are just a little unsettling…

See the original post here: Upworthy.com

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OOH, So we are petting people now?

Hair touchFor those of you who don’t know me…I rock my natural hair with a whole lot of pride and just as much volume…My hair has often become a focal point and/or conversation starter. Talking about my hair or using it as an excuse to spark a conversation with me is very welcomed. But in the last few days I can’t help but fight the urge to buy a T-Shirt and paint the words: “Touch my hair and DIIIE!” on the front of it.

I often find myself spending a great deal of time, literally, keeping fingers off my head…hell my own child has a tendency to stick her grubby little fingers in it, or pull a comb through it (that usually gets stuck and requires a bag of fairy dust and happy thoughts to get out). But; she’s a kid and I have a weak spot for tykes so they get a “minor” pass…but adults who know better, NO! “Oohh it looks so soft and shiny. Can I touch it?” uummm HELL NO!

Look, no really I need you to listen to me on this, because it should only have to be said once…You Don’t Pet People.

pet yourself

Yeah that T-Shirt would free up so much of my time. That way I have more time to answer other “Dumb” questions like “Are black girls better in bed?” or “Do you go tanning?” or my favorite “Do black people bruise?”…ugh

I remember when I was 8 years old, Third grade, I was called to read my paper out-loud to the class…my teacher in all her Caucasianess asked me if my hair was “Extenders” and could she touch it. hair pet This was when I learned (at such a young age) that at in point, while in “mixed company”, I could, at any time, become a one-person informational attraction, representative, SIDESHOW.

Not good enough for you?

A few years ago I was stuck in Ireland, due to weather, where I had the pleasure of meeting three Aussies (Australians). After establishing the kind of rapport, that is shared by strangers on foreign sole, they made a pitiful attempt to add me to their…how should I say this? “International experience”.

“…Can you say, ‘You go girlfriend’?”

“What? No. I don’t even know anyone who actually says that…”

“…Aww C’mon, say it. We get the Maury Povich Show…All Black American girls say
that…”

“Hey guy, F@*! you. NO!”

blacknotghetto

Ok to be honest with you, I think I would much rather have overt “A$$holery” than the “well-meaning” kind. Case in point; a lady I used to edit for called me, the aforementioned, “girlfriend”, even though she knew I hated that sh!t. But she has never slapped me in the face with the “…black women are so confident in their bodies” BS… Which by the way is a marvelously backhanded way of telling me how amazed you are that I’m fatter than you—but apparently don’t hate myself (you can go to hell…immediately). #BitchMode or #InformationalRepresentativeMode …which is often confused with Bitch Mode. Why? Because a black woman is not allowed to criticize anything or anyone without others assuming she’s just being a bitch…

Still not good enough? Well try this one on for size…

A friend and I were recent patrons at a nice “grown-up” establishment…tucked far away from the playgrounds of the beer pong sect of a college town. We were soon approached by two fairly handsome white guys. It only took a single round for one of them, just-so-happened, to mention that he’d ‘never been with a black girl before’. 1) I am not a “girl” I’m a grown woman 2) I would love to know if he thought that this approach was appropriate for all women and not just black women. For example: ‘I’ve never been with a ________ girl before (Jewish, Polish, German, etc).

1stblackgirl

I am inevitably, hurtfully, blindsided by this type of thing. Often times I dwell, later, on what type of response I should or could have given at that moment. But, I try my best not to have a fit whenever someone asks me idiotic things. I’m just tired of having to be “On-duty” all of the time. I wish that non-black people would put down their ‘Field Guide to the African American Negro’ (No it’s not a real book) long enough to learn about me the same way I learn about them: by shutting the hell up and taking cues…

*picks up soap box…walks away* soapbox

Because it’s after 2am and I’m tired…I give you “White Girl Wasted”

Some would say that getting trashed requires a bit of carelessness, while others would say it’s downright immature.
Well lets us take a look at, what I would call, the art form of getting…
WHITE GIRL WASTED



1. Have no clue as to where you left your purse
2. Believe that dancing with your arms over your head and wiggling your butt while yelling “whooo hooo!” is truly the sexiest dance move ever invented.

3. Suddenly decide that you want to kick someone’s ass and honestly believe you could do it. “Fcuk that b!tch…I’m gonna kick her ass”
4. During your last trip to pee you realize that you look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess you were four hours ago.

5. Start crying and telling everyone exactly how much you love them and you would do anything for them.
6. Get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays…why? Because “OMG! I love this song!”
7. Find the deeper spiritual side of the Geeky molester sitting next to you at the bar.
8. Suddenly take up smoking, and realize you’re actually pretty good at it.
9. Yell at the bartender, who you believe cheated you by giving you just lemonade (truth is you’re so wasted you just can’t taste the gin anymore).
10. Fall asleep…thinking you’re in bed when in reality you’re on the kitchen floor nose deep in the mop.
11. Fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when you sit on it (or pray to it, whatever nature calls for).
12. Take your shoes off because it’s their fault you’re having trouble walking.
LET’S GET WHITE GIRL WASTED THIS WEEKEND!

Acts of Desperation

untitledh

Ladies please don’t get bent out of shape after reading this blog…Better to hear it from one of your own before you do it, then to be made an example out of.

I was watching Oprah (re-run) a couple of nights ago, nothing else was on, and she had five of nine women on. They were telling “us” about how they were all married and/or engaged to the same man. Sometimes the relationships (marriages included) overlapped one another. Dubbed the “Casanova Conman”, Eric Cooper would weasel his way into these women’s lives by telling them things like…He was a Navy Seal or a pilot (and had the uniforms to boot). He would eventually propose and/or marry them only to transform into a completely different creature…To include stealing from the women and their families…sometimes taking them for everything they own and then leaving them high and dry without a trace.

But this is just the back ground story. The motive behind the blog lies with the women on the show.

Then Oprah brought out a “Therapist”, Dr. Robin Smith, that hit the nail on the head…”A piece of it is how needy and how desperate we are, as women, to feel good, to feel worthy, to feel pretty…People can sniff out when we’re weak, and they come in like vultures…” Unfortunately her words seemed to fall on deaf ears.

She explained to these women that there was something in them, like most women, which tells “us” that we are not complete if we don’t have someone to be with. In their situations not one of them was with the man for more than a month before they were married and/or engaged. Nor did any of them stay with him for more than a couple of weeks before he left them for someone else. In one case the guy left one women the night of their wedding. Then there was another woman on the show that was so “needy” that she was willing to marry and commit herself to a man that was not only in jail for murder, but he was in jail for the murder of HER BROTHER!
nicki minaj animated gif on Giphy

// // Weather we want to realize it or not, and I include myself, it has been programmed into us as women that we HAVE to find a mate, get married, and live “happily ever after”.

untitled1

I don’t look at it as a fault I look at it as nature. Why because from the time we were small girls it has been programmed into us to think this way. But the point I’m trying to stress is that it doesn’t have to be that way…

Finding love everlasting is a wonderful thing when it happens, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you live for. You don’t need to be so “desperate” to find that knight in shining armor. If I may quote the Therapist from the show…” There is no such thing as Prince Charming. Because the man that ‘sweeps’ you off your feet, will be the same man that ‘sweeps’ you away from who you really are.”

It’s the times that you are “alone” that you figure out who you are and who it is that you want to be. You don’t need another person to complete you. You need to complete yourself. When you complete yourself you are more aware of yourself, and you are less likely to stay with or get yourself into unhealthy relationships. Now don’t get me wrong that’s not to say that “Sh!t won’t happen”. You have to fall to learn to do better for yourself. You are going to have bad relationships before you find the good one…if not than consider yourself a lucky b!tch and I hate you, you’re not normal.

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In conclusion: Don’t let being “alone” make you feel like it’s the end of the world. Use that time to make yourself better. Learn to be comfortable with who you are and what you want to become. And when the time is right you will end up with the right person.